But after all that is done, watching the miserable spritely abominations exert themselves across the board at a fraction of a snail’s pace just might cause you to forget what the hell you were doing in the first place.Īnd did I mention it’s ugly? Actually, upon closer review I must admit it possesses that charm most 8-bit games are naturally endowed. Taking your time to consider all possible actions is to be expected. Chess is a slow and thoughtful game where opponents engage in a highly cerebral competition of strategic superiority. I’ve been building up to it long enough, so let’s get into the nitty gritty of this gritty shitty port. Because now we have a stunning example of ineptitude on our most revered console. And that’s exactly what happened when some cash-grabbing tycoon thought, “Hey, let’s bring that Battle Chess game to the Nintendo!” But sometimes when you mix two things you love together, like, let’s say, ice cream and a deep frier, you’ll want to vomit. The original is not a perfect game, but if you’re going to play chess, why not do it in style? That is, unless your only means is through the Nintendo Entertainment System. Sure, the animated clashes will become repetitive after a while, but hey, at the end of a duel between two knights it doesn’t matter who wins seeing them recreate the famous Monty Python Black Knight sketch will set aside any dispute you may have with your opponent – everyone wins. Challenge the computer or rent a friend and watch as your human chess pieces come alive only to engage in sensational, graphic battles. Interplay impresses us with its charm and wit by taking a dry and intellectual game into the realm of wacky comedy (a demonstration of things soon to come from this young developer).

When I paint Battle Chess in a positive light, I refer to the PC version. You do have a point, but before you ready the pitchforks and torches, allow me to elaborate.

“What sort of credibility could I lend to an individual of such indecisive tendencies?” “Did you just have a sudden change of heart?” millions of readers simultaneously remark to themselves. And I’ve had the misfortune of playing it.īear in mind that it is essential to know the particular port I’m reviewing before I dive head-first into this slab of concrete- er, evaluation.īattle Chess is a fun, tongue-in-cheek rendition of a classic board game as old as time. Can that be my review? I mean, what more do you want me to say about this plastic casing that contains something some people in certain areas might refer to as a game? I think the introductory phrase of this piece encompasses all the information you need to know before embarking on a rousing go of Battle Chess.įurthermore, why would I pick such a title to review? Because I own it.

Battle chess board game